Q: I was talking to this girl for two weeks and went on a few dates with her. She’s not like the other girls I’ve met lately; she’s beautiful but smart, too. I thought things were going great but when I made the move to take the relationship to a deeper level, she freaked out and I haven’t heard from her in a week. I thought she was ready, I’ve never been wrong about reading those signs before. What did I miss?
You probably just missed the part about her not wanting you to be deeper into her. Nothing big (no pun intended).
Seriously, I don’t think you were ready to date a smart girl, because most of us don’t put out after only a ‘few’ dates. It doesn’t say anything about you, just that smart girls require more work – so, in a way, they are more high maintenance. It was going to take more than a few dinners and movies to make her panties drop. It might have even required you to become fluent in the art of sincerely interested conversation – and getting to know her.
I am well aware that there's an unspoken two week rule in dating: if she doesn't put out in two weeks, you put her out. Maybe that's enough time for some chicks to decide they are ready to to deal with the consequences and complications that sex brings to a budding relationship. Other girls might need more convincing. Maybe you found one of those. Or maybe you found a chick with serious emotional issues and just saved yourself about six months of drama before the inevitable break-up.
Look, don’t beat yourself up over this (again, no pun intended). You misread the signs, but it’s not like there won’t be other girls. Just remember this: if you have an immediate need for a deep physical result, go for the chicks you normally meet. However, if you are ready to challenge yourself an be with someone worth the extra effort of building your character and personality, an apology goes a long way when it’s sincere and followed by flowers, a card or being picked up with both by a horse-drawn carriage – so you might get another shot.
If you don’t, next time, never assume you’re so irresistibly hot that you can call all the shots. Because if she is worth it, you will let her call them.
