I'm a guy in my late 20s and I'm in a really good relationship with a great girl. We've been together for about five years and things are good. Now that we've lived together for over a year, we're talking about getting married. Things couldn't be any better. But I'm wondering if I'm making a mistake by settling down so soon. I'm not even 30 yet. The more I think about things, I wonder if I'd be happier in an open relationship or in another relationship. At the same time, I know I don't want to lose her. So, I guess my question is, would it be okay for me to cheat on my girlfriend to make sure that I'm ready to get married? It wouldn't be an affair-type thing, it would be more of a one night stand - something to prove to myself that I don't want to be with any other woman than my girlfriend. I'm thinking about telling my girlfriend this, but I'm afraid she won't trust me anymore.
Haha, you're considering telling your girlfriend you want to cheat on her to prove to yourself that you can be with her "til death do you part?" Death may come sooner than you think ...
As a girl who has been in your soon-to-be-ex's high heels, I can tell you she won't react sympathetically to your dilemma, nor will she respond favorably to your selfish idea of a solution. The fact that you are only looking at a one night stand leads me to believe you have met someone you are curious about and think the only way to figure out if it's her or your girlfriend you want to be with is to sample the goods. Unless you are looking at a string of one night stands ... ?
Most guys, who are not total tools, would recognize that getting some strange won't get them anything in this situation except dumped - and possibly an STD should you choose to not arm yourself with protection. You know, herpes is forever - like diamonds, only not as desirable.
Remember, there will always be other people out there you will be attracted to, who interest you on certain levels and who may seem like a better fit. But think about what you have at home and decide if it's worth giving up 'perfect,' for an idea of what another person could be like. The grass is not greener on the other side, it's greener where you water it.
If you're having these thoughts, you don't have any business being in a long-term relationship or even considering marriage. I do think you should talk to your girlfriend about how you're feeling before you take the plunge into a commitment you may not be as ready for as you thought. Because if you were serious about the future of your relationship, you would realize that couple's therapy would be a more mature and responsible solution to this issue.
As for how you're lady will take the news ... she's either going to go bat-shit crazy on yo' ass or or she will want the same opportunity to figure out if you will keep her satisfied and happy for eternity - or if there might be someone out there who won't second guess her worth.
Oh, the answer to your question, would it be okay to cheat to make sure you can be faithful? It's never okay to cheat. Ever.
