Dear Hot Chick,This is going to sound like a really immature question because I’m 25 years old but what does it mean when my boyfriend won’t post anything to my Facebook wall or put photos up of us on his page? Should I be worried about his level of commitment? Or am I looking into this too much? I don’t want to ask him because I don’t want to sound insecure.
Funny you should ask this question, because it was not long ago that I was quietly thinking the same thing about a guy I had been dating – for three years. Turns out it’s hard to keep your options open when you have photo and comment evidence online of actually having a girlfriend. We broke up. But I digress.
Facebook creates unnecessary problems in relationships. Even adults have been reduced to acting like tweenagers by subscribing to the collective thought, “it’s not official until it’s ‘Facebook official.’” What the Jesus did we all do before Facebook? Oh, right. There was MySpace where we could list our top 8 friends and Heaven forbid we should demote anyone from their rightful order … sigh …
Unfortunately, I can’t tell you what this means for you. It could be nothing or it could mean he’s just not as into you as you want him to be. Or … he just doesn’t really do the Facebook thing. But if it really bothers you and you don’t want to sound like a needy, immature teen … bring it up in conversation like so:
(text him a picture of you both together)
You: So, did you like the picture I sent you? I make you look like a stud.
Him: Haha. Yeah you do. I like it.
You: You should totally put it up as your profile pic on FB.
Him: Hmmm. Okay, I will.
You: I’m serious.
Him: I said I will.
You: How do I know you will?
Him: Because I said I would, now stop nagging me.
Okay, so … maybe that’s not a good idea after all. Don’t do that. Just post photos on your page and tag him in them.
Instead of wondering why he is not publicly acknowledging you guys as an item on a social networking site, maybe you should just concentrate on the dynamics of your offline relationship. If you guys see each other, talk and spend a good amount of enjoyable time together in person, then you are way ahead of a lot of couples who over-share their business on Facebook to make up for whatever it is they are not doing offline to nurture their relationship.
The best way to deal with this situation is to not let it become an issue. Facebook does not make anything official, by the way. It just makes it so everyone knows your business - and that's not always a good thing.
