Hang on Snoopy ..

I don’t know if you remember me, but we met at Barnes and Noble a few weeks ago. My husband is away on “business” and we had an interesting conversation where you advised me not to snoop unless I was prepared to see what I didn’t want to see. But I didn’t listen and I saw something, now I don’t know what to do. It’s upsetting to say the least. A woman wrote him an email saying she missed him and wanted to skype with him. I understood her to be a friend from high school, but to me it seems pretty forward when you know a man is married. I deleted the email from her, but I can’t stop thinking about it. Now I’m wondering if he’s been writing her or talking to her because I don’t see why she misses him. I also remember you saying if I ever did snoop, I can’t say anything because I’d be the bad guy, no matter what. But I can’t just let this go. If I were to say something, what would you say would be the best route to go?

Well, I’d say you can’t go bat-shit crazy on him because you have no idea what his response would have been. What if he would have blew her off by either ignoring the email, deleting it or – long shot - telling her that she’s being a slut by hitting on a married man? Your best course of action would have been to leave the email in his box and see how he responded. He either would have proven himself to be a douchebag or he would have made you proud. Now you will never know and that will probably bother you since I’ve pointed it out.

Not all men are bad guys and some women can be manipulative, skanky bitches. I say that in my whitest girl voice.

You did violate his privacy by digging through his stuff, but I am assuming since you’re married, you have all his passwords and he knows this. So, why would he set himself up for failure? If you hadn’t deleted the email, you could have brought it up casually and asked about it. But now you can’t. It’s one thing to go through his shit, but another to delete it, even if you feel justified.

Since you already got rid of the email, and you aren’t even sure what would have happened, you can’t really be upset at a “what if.” Just because some girl emails your husband, it doesn’t mean he invited the contact. At this point, I would put this behind you and move on. Next time, don’t go looking for things you know you’re going to find. And if you find something vague, wait for it to prove itself worth a solid argument.