You want to WHAT with my husband/boyfriend?

Recently, I have had a number of chicks write and ask me if it’s cool for their deployed guy to skype with another chick. I posed the question as a status update a month or so back. I was surprised at some of the answers. Of course a lot of guys said it’s cool as long as they are just friends. One girl even said it would be cool with them because they are soooo secure in their relationship.

So, now that I’ve had time to think about it, I’m going to call bullshit.

It’s definitely NOT okay no matter how secure you are in a relationship. You know why? Because if he has time to skype … he should be skyping with his girlfriend or wife … or Family members and best dude friends.

It’s also inappropriate for a single gal to proposition a skype session with a not single dude. It doesn’t matter if you are on the wife/girlfriend’s Facebook or not. Respect, ladies – respect. Especially if you haven’t met the girlfriend in person, but you just know she’s there. Put yourself in the girlfriend/wife’s shoes. How would you feel and be honest with yourself.

My guy has a few girls who are just friends. The ones I’ve met are married and have boyfriends (one of them is a best friend). I trust them because they have never mentioned to me that they want to skype with him. But they do email and keep up with him AS A FRIEND. I’m totally cool with that while he is deployed.

Skype is kind of an intimate thing when you’re in a situation like a deployment. I know what my boyfriend and I do when we are on video heaven. Not to say lines can’t be crossed with ‘chick friends’ through email/IM, and ultimately, it will be up to the person in the relationship to respect it and act accordingly. A little inside joke can lead to some under the clothes flash sessions to full on web cam girl scenarios. What guy is gonna turn that down?

The reason guys (and, let’s face it, girls do it, too) allow that to happen is because it’s not actual sex, so both parties think it’s not cheating. But listen up guys, when your girl is taking care of the homefront with her legs and House of V closed for business and collecting cobwebs for up to a year … it’s kind of like a slap in the naughty bits to find out their guy is playing online with another chick. So, guys, you should practice capping your squirt gun for the one who is working the hardest for it … your lady.

This has nothing to do with jealousy or insecurity. And it is most definitely cheating.

So, to back my “calling bullshit” up, I did ask five guys and five girls what they thought:

4 out of the 5 guys said:

It’s okay if it’s, like, a childhood friend.

Me:

What would your wife/girlfriend think about that?

Guys:

Well, we both have friends of the opposite sex and she knows I love her and it’s just a – F%$#, she wouldn’t be down with that.

Only ONE out of the five guys:

I wouldn’t do it, personally, but I can see where there are guys who would. I know if my girlfriend or wife were doing the same I wouldn’t like it either.

EVERY single Gal except one:

Oh, hell to tha nah! If my man is going to be skyping anyone, he’s going to skype with me. The only other girls are his mom, sister and some other family. Not cousins, though. There’s a thin line on what’s acceptable in some parts of the country when it comes to cousins, what with differing degrees of distance in the bloodline.

By the way, this works both ways. Ladies, it’s not cool to skype one of your single dude friends while your man is deployed. Because as my boyfriend once told me:

Guys don’t have single chicks as ‘just’ friends. They’ve either had sex with them before or they want to have sex with them or they are still having sex with them or they want them to send naked pictures. That’s it.

(I do think there’s an exception to the rule, but exploring that option is best for when you and your significant other are both in the same zipcode and country.)