Decisions, decisions ...

I started seeing a guy a few months ago that I met on Facebook; we have mutual friends. He is deployed and messaged me out of the blue one day. We’ve talked, written, Skyped or IM’d every day for the last few months and we agreed to be boyfriend and girlfriend, even changing our relationship status on Facebook. Well a week ago, I went out with the girls and ran into my ex- boyfriend who cheated on me with a girl he met online. We talked and he wants to get back together. But he’s getting ready to deploy. Now I’m confused. I still have feelings for my ex, and I also like this new guy, but he isn’t here and I really don’t know him well. My ex will be leaving about the time my new guy comes back. How should I handle this?

A: How should you handle what? Cheating? Because that’s what it sounds like and I don’t tell people how to creep on their relationships. Do you really have feelings for your ex other than he’s conveniently not deployed? You could have saved yourself from this dilemma by not agreeing to ‘date’ someone you’ve never actually met or spent time with, leaving yourself available to explore all other ‘options’ free of judgment. But you didn’t and if you do what you’re thinking about doing, just know that every derogatory word for chicks that cheat on their dudes will be yours to own.

You know your ex hasn’t been pining for you since the breakup - there’s probably a trail of vagina from the last time you both hooked up to now. The only reason he wants you back is he either saw your status update on Facebook, heard it through mutual peeps or hasn’t had any luck with trading up and realized you were probably the best he was gonna get. Exes have a way of knowing when to jam that emotional crowbar in your heart to keep you from moving on. Mr. Facebook is fresh and untainted by d-bag shenanigans – at least for the time being.

I haven’t heard you say you love either guy, which leads me to believe you’re just looking to have a your more intimate needs met. I suppose if you timed it just right, and kept it to yourself, you could have your cake and eat it, too. But then, that doesn’t make you any better than your ex boyfriend, now does it? So the choice - to be or not to be - is yours.