Gossip Girl-friend

My girlfriend and her friends like to gossip. They get together and have focus groups about different things and people they gossip about. I don’t care, I know that’s what girls like to do when they get together, but it’s when we are alone and spending time together and the only thing she can talk about is other people and that really bothers me. At first, it was pretty entertaining to listen to what kinds of things they talk about. But it’s the only thing she can talk about. I like more substance to my conversations and this is getting old. Is this how all girls act or are there girls who do more than just talk about other people?

A: Wait. Men 'Converse'? Really? Since when? I jest …

So, what kind of “substance” are you looking for in your conversations? Should there be a sports element, mention of some boobies or even talk of alcohol and partying? No, I’m serious. I understand that what’s interesting to men can be so different to what’s interesting to women.

Well, let’s get one thing straight: they don’t consider their talk as gossiping, they consider it networking. It’s not all chicks, but there are a lot of chicks like your chick. If you were paying attention to what she was saying and not what you guys could be doing when you first met her, it would have been obvious that she would turn out to be a vapid flake, perfect for you only when her mouth was shut or occupied (don’t be dirty, I’m talking about with food or drink). There are girls out there who can hold a conversation, but there’s a trade-off. They probably won’t quick to put out, will call you on your bull and crap, and could possibly not be as hot as your Gossip Barbie. Those girls are known as keepers. I’m assuming this isn’t your first girlfriend, but if you met a keeper, you wouldn’t be writing me right now.

But to be fair, let’s assume you have a girl who is capable of holding conversations about something other than who’s doing who, wearing what and saying that. How about voicing your concerns about the lack of diversity in topics of discussion? Or – and this is just a shot in the dark – you could start the conversation on a point that interests you. I’m going to assume that when you two talk, it’s mostly her talking and you pretending to listen. Feigned interest in return for favors is not a situation that can last.

So, practice some good conversation starters and learn how to steer talk in the direction you would be more likely to participate in. If that doesn’t work, consider the entertainment value of gossip and take an interest: if you can’t beat them, join them. Good luck!