Forcing feelings = bad decision

Q: Okay, there’s this girl I met. She’s funny, pretty and just an all around good person. There’s just one problem. I’m not interested in her as anything other than a friend. After dating a string of drama-queens, I thought that I’d fall for the first normal girl I met, but I can’t seem to make myself like her as anything more than a friend. What’s wrong with me? Should I make a serious effort or just let it go? What if she’s the one and I let her go because I’m subconsciously looking for another drama queen?

What IS wrong with you? Stop over-analyzing and obsessing over your lack of feelings for a girl you don’t even know likes you back as anything other than an acquaintance. As long as you haven’t done anything stupid, like have sex with her, I think you’re good. Don’t cross lines and lead her on because, honestly, that’s where nice girls turn into psycho-stage-five-clingers – your ‘drama queens.’

If you’re worried about Ms. Perfect being ‘the one,’ I can tell you that she probably is - just not for you. If you don’t have feelings for her, don’t try to force them. That’s just a waste of time for both of you. What happens when you get tired of pretending to be ‘in love’? After weeks, or even months, of living a seemingly perfect partnership (mostly because you don’t care enough to talk or fight about the important things for fear the truth will come out before you want it to), you blindside her with a breakup because you feel unfulfilled and she spends the rest of her dating life wondering what she did wrong. But it wasn’t her, it was you, asshole. And YOU pretty much created the trust issues that she will carry over to all the other guys she will date. Can you live with that on your conscience? Who am I kidding, of course you can …

Seriously, though, how do you know she’s really a nice person? Just like guys, women pretend they are a lot more stable and interesting than they actually are when they first meet someone. It’s called ‘game.’ Played well, ‘game’ will give a girl the advantage of seeming like the ‘perfect’ fit for any man long enough to hook him into a relationship he didn’t know he wanted. You will know this technique by a few obvious vocal cues: mentioning sports without any facts to back up a real interest, talking about strip clubs in a positive light and agreeing that sex is a basic need that can be met without a commitment – now or ever – are just a few.

So, don’t feel obligated to ‘like, like’ or fall in love with someone because they seem like the kind of person who would be good for you. Because, truthfully, you don’t really know anyone until you get to know them and then … how well do you really know them?