Booby-Bars and Boys

Q: Why do guys like strip clubs so much? My boyfriend says it’s a visual thing, like watching porn, but why can’t he see me like that? And let me point out that he is not giving dollar bills to porn movies, he gets them free off the Internet. He says he doesn’t give money to the girls except to tip for drinks and that it’s just a place to hang with the guys, but why can’t he hang out at a sports bar with them?

A: Guys live in this fantasy world where they think every hot chick should walk around naked, shaking their goodies all over the place. That’s what strip clubs represent – a fantasy come-to-life! It’s like walking porn they can’t touch, but can think about later, or not at all. When he tells you it’s a social outing, believe him. No doubt he is looking at someone else’s naughty bits, but you would to, if they were right in front of you. I do.

You should really be grateful your boyfriend doesn’t look at you as an exotic dancer. I’m not knocking the lifestyle or the job. (If I had the body and the balls, I’d most likely try it, I know a few dancers and they make more money than I do.) Most men look at these girls as objects and not actual people. Those dancers might be working their way through med school or supplementing their income during these hard, economic times, but all your boyfriend and his friends are seeing are oily, glittery tits and ass – and lots of both. Those girls are only working what their mama gave them for dollars, not your boyfriend’s penis because the latter won’t pay their bills.

I’m guessing you’ve never been to a ‘strip’ club so you’re not comfy with what you think is going on, what you’re boyfriend is telling you and what’s the real deal. Why don’t you go check it out? Get your girls together for a girls’ night and make it a research expedition. Pay attention to how the girls flirt and dance their way into a man’s wallet and take those moves home to surprise your boyfriend. It might not keep him out of the strip club for bro-night, but you will have become his perfect fantasy woman. Not only will you be the girl that cooks, takes care of him, and can bring around his friends and family, but you will also be his private dancer. It’s a win.

However, if you’re not comfortable with that plan of action, maybe it’s time to sit down and explain to him how this makes you feel. Decide what you want the outcome to be and what you’re willing to settle for in a compromise. Guaranteed, he’s not giving up guys’ night at the booby bar. The drink specials are better than at a sport’s bar and they get to see more skin. Maybe you can trade for a couple’s day/night without interruption and you call the shots to include shopping, chick flicks, dinner and sexy time.

Good luck!