Wednesday, February 29, 2012

Dear Hot Chick,
I have a slight crush on the barista at my favorite coffee place. Even though we flirt and talk a little when I’m at the counter ordering my coffee, I don’t know if I should ask her out. I want to, but what if she says no? Would it be awkward after that for us? Is there a way to ask her to get a guaranteed yes?


It must be so hard to be a dude sometimes. Especially a dude with feelings.

Why are you worried about getting a 'no?' You should be worried about her saying yes, because then – since you asked her out – you have to come up with a plan that will guarantee a second date.

But no pressure there …

If the magical rapport you think you both share is real, then you shouldn’t have to worry about rejection. If you’re not sure that you are imagining it because maybe you overheard her having the same connection with all of her other customers (after all, she IS in the business of customer service), then you can do what everyone else is doing now – Facebook friend and stalk the crap out of her. And try not to think that her accepting your friend request on FB means she is declaring a secret crush she may have been harboring for you all along. Some people are friend collectors or just nice. Personally, I’m not a fan of the social networking cloak of protection, but it has become a ‘safe’ way for dudes to creep for dates without fear of public rejection.

OR – and I’m just going to throw this out there – be yourself and ask her if she would like to hang out sometime? If you and some friends are planning a get together, invite her (and a friend) - it’s casual and you will get a chance to talk to her without the coffee counter barrier. You don’t know what her relationship or state of mental stability may be so you want to keep it casual just in case she’s dating a UFC wannabe or has a tendency to be a stage five clinger.

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