Bitchy woman

My question to you is this: recently, my girlfriend and I got back together after being broken up for a few weeks. But we are moving back to the direction of our same problems and the reason we broke up before. She says I am not listening to her and I'm not trying to make changes when she is essentially acting like the same person before too. She can be a bitch about everything from how I do my hair to if I want guy time to not wanting to do things because I'm too tired from work. She says I need to change and that it's my fault. How can she expect me to change when she doesn't?

You are not listening to what she is really trying to say. And it's not all your fault, it's hers, too.

Instead of getting pissed and going on the defensive during an argument, calm down and ask her what she feels you are doing wrong and what she would like to see happen. I guarantee  you this will back her up a bit - providing she isn't unreasonably psycho. If you can have a discussion, you will also get the chance to talk about the things that annoy the piss out of you about her, too. She wants you to not only listen and UNDERSTAND how she is feeling, but CARE enough to do something about it.

That's all. 

But she needs to be able to do the same with you. Guys have feelings too and chicks need to stop pretending it's all the guy's fault. Guys react to the way girls act - and vice versa. Your girlfriend needs to understand that there are two of you in this and blaming you for everything is her being ignorant of her own contributions to the problems you both are having.

Relationships fail because couples aren't willing to work on them anymore. At the first sign of a problem, one or both either bail or use that as an excuse to distance their feelings and creep.  Look, the grass on the other side of the fence is only green because it's new. And that yard will become infested with weeds if you don't take care of it, too. True story, son.

So, here's what you do: talk to your girlfriend and see why she is being such a bitch about things you don't think should matter. Then understand that maybe you are being a dick because you don't care about how she feels about those things. Or maybe you do, but you don't know how to make her feel better about them. She can help you with that. Finally, care enough to compromise on a solution so you can make your relationship stronger, instead of letting every issue break it down. It's about respect and a willingness to work it out.

She needs to also understand that just 'cause you guys are together, it doesn't mean you don't have lives and friends outside of the relationship. Your girlfriend needs her own friends or a hobby so when you want bro-time, she can keep herself busy. Really, the days of being with someone 24/7 are so ... never ago.

I'm not saying every relationship can be fight-free. That's impossible. And boring. But you can definitely try to manage them before they escalate into Lifetime Television Movie category.