TMI?

I just cannot figure my husband out. I am the type of girl that feels like with him being my husband I should be able to share anything about my past. I'm comfortable with him, I don't fear any harsh judgment from him, I trust him. But the minute anything comes up having to do with any guy that I've so much as kissed in the past he completely freaks out says he doesn't want to talk about it and says he cannot stand to even think about me having a romantic or sexual life before him. I'm 27 years old, God knows I wasn't exactly innocent before him, and I, like most people have done things I regret in life, but I feel like its my past and he is my entire future. I want to be able to share ANYTHING with him. I want him to know everything possible about me and I want to know everything possible about him. I'm not saying I want to have full on explicit awkward conversations about prior sexual escapades, but I'd like to be able to share parts of my life with him that for whatever reason freak him out, and he refuses to share anything of the same nature about him self with me. Why can I not tell my husband something as simple as I went to a specific concert with an ex-boyfriend, or something as private as I've had a threesome with out him breaking down equally as dramatically to both? And why wont he share his past with me? Don't other people talk about things like that occasionally with their significant others?

Well, I'm pretty sure I won't be able to figure out your husband either. Men are more complicated than women - they just disguise it better.

I'm going to say that it's not normal to talk about past threesomes with a significant other - especially when he wasn't a part of it - unless there is a health issue you want them to be aware of. I can't speak for everyone, but I can tell you that I don't talk about past sexual experiences, dates or guys I've thought about naked with my man - and I don't really care to know who he was into before me. Pun intended. All I need to know is that our past got us to where we were - so that we could meet each other. 

Every guy knows that, unless she was a virgin when they met, the chick he's with has been with other dudes. But, they don't want to be reminded of that fact. Let's be honest, there's not really a good enough reason to ever bring up an ex unless you blog about it, have unresolved feelings, he is your babies' daddy, is stalking you or is famous, like Justin Timberlake or Ron Jeremy - because that would be worth bringing up from time to time. 

Sharing something as simple as going to a concert with an ex-boyfriend might mean nothing to you except conversation, but to him, it's a reminder that, at one time, you have shared all the parts of your life you're sharing with him - with someone else. He doesn't want to know or think about another guy having been where he is now. And why would you want to know about where he's been? He's not even thinking about anyone else because you are his life now and no one else matters to him. That's kind of a win for you. 

But I also understand where you are coming from. Your past makes you who you are and being able to share those things with your husband is a reflection of the intimacy in your marriage; that you can tell him anything without fear of judgment and know that he loves and accepts ALL of you - and vice versa. 

Although I don't believe that you should - or have to - share everything with your husband/wife/gf/bf ... I also don't think you should be afraid to be yourself. If this is important to you, then you should have that conversation with him, tell him why it is and find out why he doesn't think like you do. This is a perfect opportunity to learn more about each other and possibly compromise or make him feel less nervous about your need to share these things.