Bro Creeping?

Q: Dear Hot Chick, I am a hot guy. I have a job, great style and an expensive car. I even have a girlfriend. But, my girlfriend is very jealous and doesn’t like it when I go out and do things without her like boys’ night out. She accuses me of wanting to flirt and find another girlfriend and she even checks my phone when she thinks I’m not paying attention. I love her, but I like to hang out with my guy friends and do guy things sometimes like go out to the bar and drink. How do I get her to trust me? I don’t know how much more I can take of this.

A: Dear Hot Guy, I don’t understand the need for you to add the fact that you’re hot, have a job and a flashy ride, unless you’re trying to impress me (quoting 90s Shania, “that don’t impress me much”). I understand why your girlfriend doesn’t trust you. It’s clear to me that you like to peacock and that’s hard to do when you’re girlfriend is around. In case other chicks happen to notice you in the sea of other Ed Hardy/Affliction blinging studs on boys night out, you would like the freedom to see if you are still marketable in the event your relationship doesn’t work out or something better comes along – hence the choice of venue. Typical.

Every guy looks at other girls. Some even fantasize about what it would be like with another girl. Does the grass look greener? Of course it does, because you haven’t stepped in the manure yet – and there’s crap in every lawn. You just have to figure out if you want a new pile of it to deal with or stay with the load you’ve already figured out. You can be assured that your girlfriend has probably come to the realization that you are full of it, yet she is still around. Whether she loves you or just doesn’t like to lose, either way, you have something you might miss if you screw it up.

How can you get her to trust you? Assuming you aren’t creeping, ask her what would make her feel better aside from you staying in every night. Let her know that you like a little male bonding with your bros, but don’t want to argue about it all the time. Honestly, couples really do need lives outside of each other. Suggest she have girls’ night on boys’ night and meet up after for the rest of the night. Relationships won’t work without trust. If she’s not just a psycho, stage five clinger, you making an attempt at communicating with her about her emotional need to know that you’re not creeping will win you naughty time – and bro time – points.

However, if she’s right about the reasons you don’t want her around, be a jerk and dump her now so she can find someone she can p-whip.