Dating Fail

Q: I’m a 34 year old, pretty okay looking, successful guy that has had not so much success with dating. The girls I meet seem to turn into stage five clingers and, after I break up with them, stalkers. I decided to try online dating and the girls on there that I’m interested in don’t wink or poke me back. Now, I have a Facebook but it’s not like MySpace where I can search for girls in the same area, I can only look at mutual friends and friends of friends – it’s all about the friends and people I know. I want to find a girl who can have her own life, not expect to get married and still be available to hang out with me when I don’t have plans with my friends. Where can I find a girl like that?

A: I’m willing to bet dating hasn’t been working out for you because you’re not really looking for a relationship, just a convenient, long (or short) term hook-up. Your best bet is adultfriendfinder dot com. You don’t even need a picture of your face, just your naughty bits. It’s like a personals ad for friends with benefits with many available single and group options. No one will be looking for a ring, for their finger anyway, and everyone is there for the same reason you are: booty. It really is a win-win.

Most of the chicks on those dating sites are going to be looking for a long-term relationship. If they are not winking, poking or writing you back, it’s because there’s something in your profile that screams, ‘waste of time!’ You, my friend, are looking for a booty call, not even a friend with benefits. So, looking for booty on a site where every chick is looking for a love connection is counterproductive.

I’m gonna tell you it’s a little weird that you’re 34 years old and creeping the social networks for chicks. Don’t get me wrong, I know plenty of people who have met in person, continued their flirtship via the social network scene and have gone on to become a couple. But there just seems to be an element of ‘creeper’ for a grown ass man to be trolling the pages of Facebook and MySpace for a hook up. You might ask what’s the difference between that and a dating site? Well, you probably won’t find too many tweens and teens on the latter. Get where I’m going with this?

Try the Tucker Max theory of honesty: tell chicks straight up what you’re in it for. It seems to work for him, he was able to write two books about all the ass he was getting.