My psycho Valentine

Q: My ex-girlfriend and I have been broken up for about six months and we agreed to stay friends. She would still send me pictures and sext messages but I never told her not to because I didn’t want to hurt her feelings. Recently, I just started seeing another girl that I like a lot. But, my ex girlfriend won’t stop texting and calling (even though I am not returning them) and I just got a Valentine’s Day package in the mail from her. After six months, I figure she would move on. It’s hard to explain to my new girlfriend why my ex still tries to contact me, let alone mails me packages. What do I do?

A: Well, you can start by being honest with yourself and admitting you like the attention because if you didn’t, you never would have said you both could ‘be friends.’ How many times did you return any of your ex’s sexts out of sheer boredom? Everyone does it, however, in some cases you can give the wrong impression. Which means, she probably thinks there’s still something special between you besides fun, meaningless, sex-a-phonic communication; therefore, justifying her hold on the long since dead corpse of your relationship. Classic relationship necrophilia – it’s not pretty on anyone.

My guess is that you haven’t been straight with her about your feelings, the break up or that you’re now hooked up with a new chick. Everyone likes a back-up plan in case plan A doesn’t pan out, right? That’s not fair to your ex or your future ex(es). New chick isn’t going to put up with you stringing your ex along (which is what you’re doing) and your ex will only get more persistent over time, eventually causing bigger, more difficult to hide situations not only in this relationship but future ones, too. No one likes a crazy ex. Don’t you watch Lifetime Television for Women?

Seriously, if you really want to get rid of Ms. Valentine, you will have to re-break up with her and tell her why – now. Valentine’s Day is a crappy time to do it, but there’s no time like the present. Speaking of which, you will want to send any packages back, unopened, or you will look like more of a douchebag than you have been. Be prepared for an Academy Award-worthy performance of tears, angry accusations and, finally, the eery and creepy vow that you will “get yours.”

The good news is that once this is done, you may have a few follow-up texts, phone calls and e-mails from the ex, but if you stand your ground, those will disappear into the past and so will your ex. Good luck with all your future exes.